Life takes so much from us, we spend so much time giving: give, give, give. We put on our brave face, not to let our friends or loved ones down. We are so often pressing our ‘dig deep’ button, and round every corner there is someone with expectations of us, ready to load us with more. Often we don’t have anyone who is our ‘rock’. Our bodies suffer just as much as our minds. My life was so much of that, and when it got too much for me, I ended up with the therapist across the table, who would make space for me an hour a week, sit and listen, waiting for me to ﬁnd answers. It didn’t meet my need. I felt disconnected from my life and from others. So I sat alone, and nothing got better. For a long time, I didn’t believe there was a solution. I hoped in time things would ease, get better. They didn’t, until I found somatics. The work I do, and believe in so strongly, is based on somatics combined with physical touch.
Somatics is a path, a methodology, a change theory, by which we can embody transformation, individually and collectively. Embodied transformation is foundational change that shows in our actions, ways of being, relating, and perceiving. It is transformation that sustains over time. I found someone who helped me by working on my body, teaching me to feel, speak out and understand more about how I worked. The more I learned, the more I valued my body, the more I felt and learned the pleasure of sensate touch. My mental state got so much better, I learned compassion for my self, I found myself wanting to learn more. I became open to learn so much and ﬁnally, to trust. I found a Sexolgical body worker, someone who taught me in experiential learning opportunities that consciously access profound ecstatic and erotic states. Breathwork, touch, erotic massage, pelvic release bodywork, scar tissue remediation, and gave me orgasmic yoga coaching.
A therapist working with me and my body gave me the freedom to explore myself more deeply. I realised I held so many hangups and I was able to question these. The result was freedom that was such a release that healing started to take place. I learned how to say yes, and understand why I was saying yes. How to give and why; and I learned to say no. I held so much shame over my childhood abuse and my gender. Shame soon was reduced and then at last it was gone. I have replaced shame with being worthy, the mirror image of shame. I no longer need to earn my worth or believe if I do this or that I will be worthy. I already am.
I have gained compassion for myself, and more space for compassion of others. I have learned the need for boundaries, and about consequences.
Ten Common Reasons People Come to Sexological Bodyworkers:
1 Premature Ejaculation
2 Erectile Dysfunction
3 Inability to Orgasm
4 Relief from Pelvic Pain
5 Couples Wanting to Enhance Their Sex Life
6 Learning to Give and Receive Pleasure
7 Recovering Sexual Functioning And Pleasure after Childbirth, or Genital, Pelvic or Breast Surgery or Trauma
8 Accepting and Loving One’s Body, Gender and Sexuality
9 Understanding Anal Pleasure
0 Referred by a Therapist, Doctor, Social Worker, Massage Therapist
Sexological Bodyworkers teach through body experiences designed to nurture, deepen or awaken the sensual self. These experiences can include coaching in breath, movement, body awareness, boundary-setting, communication, anatomy, sensate focus, massage, erotic trance and other body-based teaching about sex. Uniquely in the professions, we are trained to do genital and anal touch for education, healing and pleasure. We touch in ways that assist students in developing presence within the body, opening interior awareness, and learning how the body can feel more and more alive. Sexological Bodywork™ is a wonderful way to address all kinds of sexual challenges, ranging from premature ejaculation to not being able to orgasm readily. Couples can learn to navigate sexual differences and explore new erotic possibilities with body-based learning and guided practice. The experiential learning opportunities available through Sexological Bodywork™ can help you engage in a respectful dialogue with your autonomic nervous system, so that physical and emotional processes that usually happen to us can be held in mindful awareness, and transformed. Love and fear, excitement and relaxation, arousal and happiness, reverence and bliss all have biochemical and physiological components that can be regulated, with training and conscious practice over time. We all set limits on the quantity and quality of pleasure we can embody. Limits to pleasure are ubiquitous in a culture that shames sexuality and fails to teach us how to honor and celebrate erotic energy. Sexual wounding becomes embedded in the body’s tissues and responses. Sexological Bodywork™ can assist you in expanding the pleasure that is possible. This expansion has physical, emotional, mental and spiritual components.